Things that aren't - An incomplete list

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 09/21/2016 at 17:42 • Filed to: None

2

40

Coupe

Shooting Brake

“mini” van

Brittish

Compact

Hatchback

CB > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:49

2

Butter.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:50

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So we’re saying that the wholly new BMiniW Countryman in specific is not British, or are you ditching the whole marque? Because the latter is a common misconception - a lot of the work on the original NuMini was done while old Minis were still rolling out the door at MG Rover. Even now, a Mini *assembled in Austria* is majority British product from Hams Hall,Oxford, and Swindon. Anything with attachment to a name like Hams Hall cannot avoid being British.

HammerheadFistpunch > CB 09/21/2016 at 17:50

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I know, can you beleive it?

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:51

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For sale

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:52

2

Mini

really i’d consider it a medium.

CB > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:52

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It’s the same way that I couldn’t believe that it was Whizzo Butter and not a dead crab.

djmt1 > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:54

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I still find it odd that out of all the foreign owned brands, Mini gets it the worst. I mean the cars are (Clubman excluding) designed, engineered and built in the UK yet somehow still German.

Bentleys on the are fancy parts bin specials from Germany and yet never “German luxury manufacturer Bentley”. Speaking of VAG, look at Skoda and Seat which are quite literally rebadge jobs yet also not German. Then there is the chaos that is FCA which make cars from all over the place based on cars from all over the place using parts from all over the place.

Anyway now that’s out of the way how wasn’t the Mini tag just straight up mini. They’re fucking huge now.

HammerheadFistpunch > djmt1 09/21/2016 at 17:55

1

I think it has something to do with the fact that they are one of the few cars where the a flag is a factory option for the roof. If you are going to shout about being brtitish, its best not to do it with a munich acent.

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/21/2016 at 17:58

2

mmmm, hams hall

djmt1 > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 17:59

0

Interesting, I’ve never seen a Mini with a Jack on the roof but then again my national flag (well one of them) is either associated with the government or racists. I honestly couldn’t tell you which group is less popular at the moment.

and 100 more > CB 09/21/2016 at 18:03

2

Nope.

CB > and 100 more 09/21/2016 at 18:05

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I think anyone involved with naming these should be fired.

and 100 more > CB 09/21/2016 at 18:07

3

Plagarism in the partially-hydrogenated vegetable oil market is at an all time high. I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Crime!

shop-teacher > and 100 more 09/21/2016 at 18:20

6

I’d like to shake the hand of whoever came up with, “Memories of Butter.” Most of these are terrible hackie names, but that is brilliant.

HammerheadFistpunch > shop-teacher 09/21/2016 at 18:21

5

Memories of butter is amazing. no question.

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 18:22

1

The Renegade is fairly compact. Agree with the rest though. The coupe thing really ticks me off.

HammerheadFistpunch > and 100 more 09/21/2016 at 18:22

1

Memories of butter. Ah yes, where does the time go?

HammerheadFistpunch > shop-teacher 09/21/2016 at 18:23

3

The renegade is relatively compact, like 300,000 gallons of gas is a relatively small spill. True and yet....

shop-teacher > CB 09/21/2016 at 18:23

1

Come on, “Memories of Butter” is an amazing name!

and 100 more > shop-teacher 09/21/2016 at 18:23

0

I just hate that absolutely ZERO work went into the product label design.

Such a great name deserves a fitting image... perhaps a daydreaming cow in a field of clover? an image of Guy Ritchie from his role in Momento? the burning of the Library of Alexandria?

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 18:24

1

I realize it's roughly the size of an XJ, but I consider XJs to be pretty small.

CB > shop-teacher 09/21/2016 at 18:25

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I’ll only give it credit because President’s Choice is a Canadian brand and generally has great products.

HammerheadFistpunch > shop-teacher 09/21/2016 at 18:25

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I used to think the Renegade was small, and it still is on the inside, but even compared to that woman, its clearly fairly large.

and 100 more > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 18:29

1

When I was a wee lad, Butter and I used to spend every afternoon that fall, skipping stones on the lake, or chasing the neighbor girls. When the snows would come, we’d make snow angels - mine were always better.

But then the summer came, and he was never the same...

smobgirl > djmt1 09/21/2016 at 18:45

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I'm friends with a Scottish surgeon in the States and he orders the same blue mini with the Union Jack on the roof every three years. Updated model, same design. I almost admire his misguided loyalty, except I know he has the money for a Jag!

shop-teacher > and 100 more 09/21/2016 at 18:53

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Ok, that would be fantastic.

shop-teacher > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 18:54

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Eh, it’s plenty small to be easy to park, so it's small enough.

Probenja > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 19:01

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But I is British too:

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > and 100 more 09/21/2016 at 19:36

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Do people still by margarine? I only buy butter

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 20:38

0

If the Mini isn’t British, then Lamborghini isn’t Italian, Jaguar isn’t British, and Jeeps aren’t American. It may be owned by the Germans but the cars are still built in Britain.

Also what is that Civic if it isn’t a hatchback?

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/21/2016 at 20:50

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Which is why my 2004 Cooper has a transmission designed by Peugeot for Rover.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > djmt1 09/21/2016 at 20:55

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It’s like how Jaguar is still considered to be very British but yet is Indian. And Minis are still very small. A Countryman is 21 inches shorter than a Corolla, a Clubman is exactly the same size as a GTI.

djmt1 > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 09/21/2016 at 21:11

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The Mini is two classes bigger than it should be. It should be like the UP!, KA or Swift not the Corolla or Golf.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > djmt1 09/21/2016 at 21:33

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Lets take a look at the Cooper vs the cars you listed.

2016 Cooper: 151'L (158' for 5 door) x 68'W x 56'H

VW UP!: 139.4'L x 64.6'W x 59.6'H

Ford Ka: 153'L x 66.7'W x 60'H

Suzuki Swift: 151.6'L x 66.7'W x 59.4H

As you can see the Cooper is comparable to all the small cars you listed (except the UP! which is a little city car). You still need things like the Countryman and the Clubman (which are both really small for their classes) to help support the brand. Though the Paceman can go screw off and the Roadster and the Coupe should never come back.

djmt1 > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 09/21/2016 at 21:43

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They’re all supposed to be city cars! What happened to the Swift and seriously what the fuck happened to the KA!

They were dinky a few years ago and now they’re fucking massive too. I shudder to think how big the 2017 UP! is gonna be.

I need to detox myself with a Smart Car but going by apparently recent trends that is probably a bad idea.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > djmt1 09/21/2016 at 21:53

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The original Ka wasn’t that much smaller at 142.5'L x 64.2'W x 53.9'H (The Cooper of the time was 143'L x 67'W x 55'H). I think it is the increased pillar size for safety which screws with the perception of size.

ranwhenparked > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 22:50

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Well, the MINI is at least made in Britain. Though the other links are getting more and more tenuous - is it even based on the R50 platform anymore?

Vicente Esteve > HammerheadFistpunch 09/21/2016 at 23:21

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Thank you for not using “Mini” with a Mini. It is so played off IMO.

Vicente Esteve > Vicente Esteve 09/21/2016 at 23:22

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Also the 4GC is a fantastic looking thing.

mtdrift > and 100 more 09/23/2016 at 12:07

1

Memories of Butter is like something out of Proust.